What Is Impaired Consent?

Impaired consent is the inability to give coherent consent due to alcohol, drugs, mental illness or handicap. Consenting Remember, consent needs to be freely and willingly given by all parties involved in a sexual act. Consent is ongoing, meaning that all parties are...

What Happens After A Sexual Assault?

A sexual assault can trigger a lot of different emotions. A survivor may feel angry, or sad, or humiliated or some combination of emotions that can’t be explained. Some survivors, like me, will feel these emotions without even realizing that their experience can...

How Do I Know If I’ve Given Consent?

I teach a self defense class for women at my police department. It’s a great (free) program that I highly recommend. As an instructor, I have the opportunity to teach woman techniques that might help prevent them from becoming victims. I take a lot of pride in...

Emotional Warfare: Gaslighting

It wasn’t until after my divorce that I first heard the term ‘Gaslighting’. The second I heard it, I knew that my ex had been a master at it. I instantly related to the term. I realized that this is how I had spent the majority of my relationship....

I Didn’t Know It Was Sexual Assault

My senior year of college should have been one of the best experiences of my life. I was on track to graduate with honors, I was the editor of the sports section for the school’s newspaper and I was dating a guy I thought I was in love with. What could possibly...

Why I Never Told Anyone I Was Sexually Assaulted

I am the victim of a sexual assault. This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I didn’t report it to the police. In fact, I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone for over five years. Not one single person. I actually didn’t even know...

Only Yes Means Yes

For years we’ve been preaching “no means no.”  We say it, we teach it, we write it on bill boards. We keep saying it, but somehow this simple statement is getting harder and harder to understand. Somehow this tiny word keeps getting lost in translation.   Some people...